Mama kata...

salam everyone. hello mr.canvas. alryte, skrg ni tgh musim musim study week, malas week, than exam week will take place in a short while. and i'm like thisss......

pic dr en.google yg sntiasa ada untukku. ahaks !

kalo buat perangai mcm ni. namanya menempah maut ! so bkal mempreparekan diri tuk final. my first final for degree. takut, nervous, panic *sambil mmbuat muka kpd suma perasaan td* pray for me. aminnn :D

come back to the real business. mama kata aku heartless. read my writing "HEARTLESS".

its like.. what ? mama ckp pe td ?? hah ? cuba ulang lg skali ?

okay, lpas tu iollss pun mintak mama explain knapa mama ckp mcm tu.

and..she's start nagging and explaining. but one thing. mothers nagging is the most beautiful nagging in the world. barulah iollss tersedar dr lamunan. gituuu. 

at some point pe yg mama ckp tu mmg sgt btol. of coz lah. aku anak dia. she knows me better than myself.

mama pun tnya "knapa anak mama jd heartless ?"

i was like daannnggg ! stunned. 

soalan mama ni memerlukan aku explain tuk 3 hari mungkin sbb aku pun x brape sure ape dh jd ngn hati aku. amagaaddd ! ! hati ? mana hati ? i've lost it T_____T

my heart not belongs to me.

it is "in me", but i adrress it to my creator. i guess that is the only way for me not to get hurt by HIS other creator. it much better.

tapi, sebagai ordinary girl. of coz, i do hv feelings lah. mna ada org x de perasaan. whether you show it or not. this is it. soooo. im in the category of 'not showing it'. hmmmmmmmmm....krik krik..

now, lets clarify. why, im not showing much of my feelings.

sebab aku rsa, jgn terlalu menunjuk atau memberi perasaan. kerana jikalau perasaan yg diberi tidak diterima sprt yg diharapkan, perasaan lain pula akan timbul. 'kechiwa' tu adik beradik kecewa. kau jgk yg sakit hati, merana, frust menonggeng telentang bagai. oleh kerana malas nak melayan perasaan tu bagi skit2 je perasaan tu dkat person who really deserve it. ewaahhh, kedekut tau nak bg perasaan. yes ! u have too. yang sakit tu myself, yg nak menanggung tu myself and yg nak heal tu pun myself. 

and !

one more thing, perempuan itu selalu emosi. juga cepat perasan. bila perasan, mulah perasaan rasa terbuai2. padahal x de pape pun. kau je perasan lbh. lepas tu frust, kan dh mnyusahkan perasaan sndiri. mood pun nak swing kan ttibe. muka masam, ckp nak x nak, nak marah je. lempang je manusia mcm ni. sndiri cari masalah. eh ! dh kenapa emosi ni. perempuan katanya. gila jgk pompuan ni. haha. bg mngelakkan rsa perasaan, jadilah heartless. it helps you a lot. try lah kalo x caya. haaa. 

                       

bila charlie sheen berkata2. packik google selalu mmbantu

plus..

kalo dlu kau pnuh berperasaan disebabkan beberapa perkara yg mngguris hati kau, kau jd x berperasaan. salah 1 sbb knapa heartless. 

                           

haaa, kau gedabak quote iollss letak. main kasar nmpk. ikhlas okay. 

 i still hv heart..its just that....

kemainnn

but...this is all me. only me. another person with another thoughts and another feeling.

so i guess that's it. got to go. anak menangis plak. muahahahaha :D

salam. xoxo :)

when you remain the same

salam mr.canvas =) lama x update kan. kerana ?! lupa password. yessss. msuk ni kali yg ke 38 reset password *over* ala. kak jemah kan memory ala2 ikan emas a.k.a pelupa lah.

whatever it is, dh ingt dh siap simpan ditmpat yg sepatotnya lg. today's entry is not really related for me but its happen to a person that really close to me.ala2 tribute skit laa. ingt p ramlee je boleh tribute ke. eh ! . but the point is bkn nak cerita siapa dia, nak cerita how she deal with  a thing that never being expected in her life.

she's strong but she cried,
she's intelligent but stupid,
she's out going person but she quite,
she's ugly but gorgeous,
she's gloomy but shine,
she's strict but weak.
she's fall but stand still.

she's in her own world but of course every girl has a dream. i'm a dreamer too. whether is happen or not im just okay with that. because want u plan don't always hv a good result. and what u hate can always be ur lovers. tu semua kerja DIA. and this girl is go with flow. ada, adalah. x de, nak buat mcm mna. suitable word is "redha". redha dia x bermakna dia mnyerah, redha dia bermaksud berusaha dulu, doa dan redha.

bila berdoa dan meminta, DIA mndengar doa2 hambanya. yes, she did that. dan doanya sedang dijwb oleh DIA. she du'a overall about her life and most important thing is jodoh. berdoa tuk dpt jodoh yg mmbimbing dia ke jannah. berdoa untuk mendapat seorang yg boleh mnjadi imam dlm hidupnya. berdoa untuk mencari rusuk kanan buat dirinya.

effort. endless du'a. patient. redha. remain being the same person.

alhamdulillah, the person that she loved is realizing something. its that feeling "sayang". waiting for that feeling to be realize ain't easy. she never change towards any situation. even she's being hurt, they fight, she cried, he left. but she's still there, waiting. it's always a price you need to pay for a happiness.

never give up, just being yourself.

"their story will be one of the love story for me, whatever happens later, there is always a good memory left"

my prayers always be for both you.

salam :)

i'm back at puncak !

wweeeeeehhhhhhhhhooooooooooo ! hello mr.canvas :) ya allah lamanya x hapdate menatang ni. bkn stakat habuk, ntah2 komodo pun ada dlm ni. takot kau, kang tgh2 update ada tngan ilang kna mkn ngn komodo. x nak lah kn. sadis sgt ceritanya. so bila dh lama x jmpa mr.canvas rindu lah, meh nak hug2 kiss2 skit muahh3 <3. gila kau sara. tau ! wokey..after all this while yg dh brkurun x update ni kan, for sure there's a lot things have been done. obviously, i'm a degree student in puncak perdana. puncak sgt mmgnya.

so bila dh blaja dkat ngn umah ni, pe lg mmg balik je lah every week *kata dkat,balik lah* dulu kat kedah menanah je la tgok org usung beg balik. skrg, nah ! aku balik sehelai sepinggang je *tipu,bwk bju kotor balik umah* balik tiap2 minggu. homesick katanya puihhh ! haha. silalah jeles mna yg jauh tu. haip, x baik ye, sesungguhnya mmg itulah kenyataannya. bahagia rsa ari khamis mlm dh smpai umah sbb jumaat x de class kn. heaven ! kak jemah suka kau :) hahaha

so how puncak is ? best ke ? lame question. ptft ! first of all, brsyukur la dh dpt. puncak kecik je, x mcm merbok jalan2 situ je, so kalo dngar "aku x jmpa class doe, sesat" penipu sgt. sbb pusing2 situ je ye. insyaallah x sesat dgn brpandukan signboard yg disediakn. ewahh. so that is actually the advantage being in puncak, u won't lost ! kaki pun x tercabut, tertanggal ke hape. tp x leh lah nak kurus. adoii *kurus ke dok merbok dulu. x kn* ceh ! hah ! lets talk about apartment *skrg apartmnt,dulu bilik kat murni* but honestly, i want my old room :( bilik luas, boleh guling2, boleh main jalan2, main galah pnjang pun boleh kalo nak. apartmnt ni ok, not bad. 8 org 1 rumah im in the room with 4 ! so x delah tkot kn *pnakot rupanya kau ni sara* most in our aprtmnt is merbokians ! haha. ada 2 org segamat and 1 from mache. machang lah. huhu. yg dr merbok tu pun dulu x rapat msa msa kat merbok, tgur2 cm tu je, ttibe dpt bilik skali. hambikk lah kau sara lain kali rapat je ngn sume org, katanya. tp ok lah x delah rsa stranger sgt. alhamdulillah i'm able to adapt with this situation. yg pnting, kak jemah duduk tingkat 4 kau. ya rabbi, berpeluh lah jugak nak menapak naik tu kan. kalo pegi mkn, nak naik kang dh lapar balik. gamaknya. fuhh. eh brpeluh ke taip ni ? x de lah drama je. haha. tingkat 4 skali level ngn aku ada sya ada bell ada lah few person, tingkat 5 plak ada syap. haa nmpk x bdk merbok is everywhere. semak lah ! hehe. nad ngn ah building sbelah :( kan dh sedih haa. tp ok lah nak g class tunggu kat bwh je. lpas tu jmpa lah balik senior2 dulu kn. unite lah kononnya tu. not bad in puncak, cuma air shower kecik, air kencing lg bsar. so tadah lah air dlm baldi sblm nak mndi tu kan, gitu kaedahnya. dan ! x de wifi ! itu boleh menimbulkan kebosanan thap dewa arimasen *eh,ape tu ? bhs jepun laaa* biasalah internet adlh segalanya, ttibe x de plak meroyan makhluk ni haa. mna ada duit nak beli berukband ! hish ! tp ari tu dh vote mpp yg manifestonya "akn mnyediakan wifi di seluruh kawasan kolej" ape lg. tick la nama dia. menang kau ! haa nmpk sgt bdk nak on9. haha. bkn takat on9 je, kan nak buat assignmnt *alasan tu* tp btol lah ! nak buat assignmnt cm ne kalo x de internet ! kan kak jemah marah. dont dont. akn ku tunggu bila janji mpp tu akn ditepati.

abaikan org dlm dlm gmbr ni nak tunjuk kampus je. org ni sibuklah.

overall puncak perdana ok lah. sbb boleh balik whenever you want !  jemput lah dtg puncak perdana melawat. rsa mcm jemput open house plak. raya dh abis lah.

this can be said as front gate for college. biasa je kn.

so that's it about puncak yg sgt memuncak tu kot. will update later on i guess. so welcome back with assignmnt and test sara :( senyumlah gila :) bye.

i'm a sinners

assalamualaikum mr.canvas..here i am again..updating you with a frustration..with my result..but still im thankful..terima kasih Ya Allah.. might be this is a feeling of falling from KLCC..rsa yg x brnyawa lg..i never hope too much but i do hope of increasing percent..but its not there..

back then..
it might be because im a sinners..
im not a good person..
then countless of sorry just for you..
i dun deserved for it..
because im not that person..
i'm not worth for anything..
yes i am..
but..
i will never give up for YOU..i'll seek ur forgiveness Allah..
i'll seek for your strength..
i'll seek for your pleased..
because my breath is for you..
my blood running is for you..
my soul lives for you..
i lived and die just for you.

:'(

routine

long time no see ! ! sgt lama x mnghapdate krn kemalasan melanda..mood nak update pun x mari..so x update lah..simple reason right..so accept that..(x de pun org tnya alasan kau x update blog knapa..jgn nak rsa retist sgt sara)..ttibe rsa nak update now..so here i am..with my dancing fingers updating you mr. canvas :) well..im home at home and always be home..sesekali je la hang out with the girls..but still very rare..so most of the time im at home..im a home person..family girl i guess..huhu..so obviously kalo dh kat umah tu jd domestic engineer la kn..so my routine are basically the same every day. it will be like this :

9am : bgun..good morning sara (x de org wish kn..so wish diri sndiri) dan brsyukur kehadrat illahi krn masih bernafas.

930am : cooking time ! mcm main dinner dash..sbb msak tuk bdk skolah yg kalo lmbt nak marah..kalo lmbt heart shape mula decrease. huh !

1030am : after cooking..sbb adik kna mkn pkul 1030..sbb van nak amek g skolah..(nape pakcik tu amik awl sgt x tau bcoz its afternoon session !) cikgu ke ape dtg skolah awl2..so time to tidy up the house..so sila amik pnyapu dan mop !

1130 am : done ! so mari tgok tv..remote sntiasa di tngn..gila remote ! !

1230 : lunch ! with my hero :)

200 : on9 and twitter..and youtube..and internet..and all thing that able to surf :)

500 : stop mmbuntang kn mata dpn lappy..and its hi tea time :)

645 : my queen of my heart is back..so cerita2 ngn mama..dan tgok tv jap brsama seisi kluarga :)

1100 : msuk blik..again..lappy is my bestfren :)

2,3 pagi : kalo ngntok tdo..kalo x tdo lmbt lg..the end of the day :)

those above will be repeat everyday..sgt brbeza ngn di merbok..bila time is yours..no one can enter to ur world..its your own..skrg ! mna nak msak lg..nak kemas umah lg..nak sidai kain lg..routine makcik2 sgt..but that is me at home..well..i guess rmai je cm tu..(nak sdapkn hati)..

but today kluar g cari kerja..sila jgn gelak bila sara cari kerja..tp end up lepaking with my old frens..its a very good time to gather all back after 3 years..mula la suma cita nak kluar..cerita dr zaman tok adam..smpai zaman futuristik suma kluar..kalo glak kalo x suma org pndang ngn muka annoying tu bkn kami ! sorry people..u hv to deal with wacko person here..huhu..

trnyata cari kerja nowdays sgt amat trlalu susah ! so business je la nnti..its a wish ! kesedaran tuk save money from today onwards is on..susah rupanya cari duit..kau sara ! tau abiskn duit je..ea, x ok..itu keperluan..hehe..but still..appreciate those things and person around you..job hunting will be continued soon :) kalo ade rezeki, ada la..kalo x de..domestic engineer x brgaji laa..pun bolehh :)

mood skrg merindui sesapa yg wajib dirindui..

my lovely cousin..haihh..jauh btol la johor..kalo x ari2 aku dtg umah kau la ! missing my diamonds girls..missing you..uhukhuk..sudah sara..get rid of it ! baikk..so mnjalani hidup for now is actually nothing special..biasa je..

and im stronger ! i had move on ! sgt ! i do struggle for this..and hope it will stay longer and  forever.

result nak kluar..so i dont know how its gonna be..always hope its good..haihh..result ni laa hhaaiii..rsa cm suma anggota bdn brterbangan..lets pray together :)

only now

rumah manis rumah ! im home..about few days ago..hello mr.canvas :) nice to updating you on my own bed..*pheww..heaven* dgn beradanya saya dirumah..brmakna tamat lah sudah full time student of information management in uitm merbok,kedah..this bring me a lot of memories..kalo nak cite mmg bleh buat subject  "diploma memories"..because we go through a lot..means lot lot lot lot lot of memories together !

its been already 3 years i've been a diploma student..dulu sblm jejak kaki kat uitm tu..menangis cm hape je..nasib baik x buta *cita p. ramlee sgt* but now..and only now i realize "ilovemerbok" terpaksa ckp je ni..huhu..after this no more classes at DS..kalo class kat DS msti tnya "DS yg mna 1 ea??". no more "brgurau senda" dgn classmate yg gila2..x de lagi msuk class lmbat " errmm, sorry miss..late..overslept "..no more asking to my classmate " weh. korg dh buat assignmnt ??.. " aku x study lg test ni..tawakal je la nmpknya" no more all that..no more rsa yg ya allah mlasnya nak bukak mata class pkul 8 sbb tdo pkul 4 pagi..x de lg stay up sbb buat assignmnt dlm bilik..which is bilik x rupa bilik..brsepah ya amat..sarang tikus cute lg..

i have classmates that are awesome ! fantabulous ! superwacko !

meet them "we are chaostic people" !

oohhh..already miss all of them ! dangg~~ of course will be missing the gossip girls lah kn..they are crazyyy ! !

mereka hotzz kn ?? tau.. mereka tau bkn saya..hukhuk

nak brgossip layak sgt ajak dorg ni..cnfirm meletopss..

curlass kau jemahhh..

bkal merindu mamat ini juga..nama dia mohd amirul kasyful nur. we called him "abang" becauce he acts like

our own brother..uuu..rindu abg..slalu study sesama ngn dia bila nak exam..walaupun setadi dlm fone..msj je

setadi..kau mampu ?? IT sgt kn..dia sgt baikk..nmpk muka dr tepi pun tau baik kn..dia juga hensem !

ahaha..dh part 6 bru tau abg hensem..tu pun msa last2 paper..rindu nak dngr abg buat lawak "bijak"

dia tu..rindu nak tgok dia pnya presentation yg wow ! ! he is a good speaker and presenter everybody..

last day kuar ngn abg..we had so much fun ! i cried bcoz of your touched msg ! sob..sob..sob..

alang ! ! our class rep :) kdg2 dia ni mnyakitkn hati gila..ckp ikut suka dia je..lempang kamu alang..tau laa..

bnyk kali sentap ngn alang..but he's still there to spread out the information regarding class..test..notes..

ape2 psal class suma tnya dia..lg2 bila not sure class proceed ke x..suka bila dpt msj dr dia yg brbunyi " ari ni class cancel tau..tlg bgtau yg lain..tq "..melompat cecah siling dlm blik..suka !class cncel is a bless for us..sbb bleh smbung tdo..huhu..pntang ade msa tdo..ZZzzzz..he is petite guys..yg ktorg slalu ckp 'alang pkai pampers '..he cant say R words with correct pronounciation..ahaha..mula2 knal mmg x brani glak..bila dh lama..x larat nak gelak dh..dia mkn x pnah minum air lain..msti dan wajib..air kosong..mnjaga kesihatan ke kesempitan wang ?? oppss..hehe..but..that is muhammad fakhri..our beloved person in class :)

and......a lot more to share about them..so kalo nak share mmg hangus trbakar jari nak taip..terkluar biji mata..sesungguhnya.sahabat..daku sgt merindui kalian..(ade mcm lirik lgu jerat percintaan x ?) 

seriusly..i miss them so much..having them..in merbok..is cool..they light up my world..they are only family in kedah..thank u so much guys ! u re superduper great ! kalo ade rezeki kita jumpa lg ea..love u all..mmuuuaahh..

only now i felt the family in us..

only now i felt having "abang" in my life..and we stop right here..

only now i felt annoying because missing them too much..altough we always fight..

we still smile and joking around each other..

only now i felt the loneliness losing them..

only now i do realise i miss and love you all this much :)

switch !

heellllllooooo ! ! yeay yeay jmpa mr.canvas ! dh brhari hari hari x jmpa..ehehe..bru abis paper..eh blum lg abis sume paper..balance 1 more to gggooo...and i was sssoooo excited..and i was ssssssssooooo scared..(sbb x bca lg kn) ..this is the day 25/3/2012 when my beloved cousin is already fly to do her umrah..uurrmm..x smpat ckp kat fone ngn dia bcoz im in the hall..exam ! ni suma salah exam td..but to you my beloved cousin im waiting for you..do take a good care of yourself..do it well kat sana tau..i love you ! damn much ! rindu okay..lama gila x jmpa..tunggu la kau..jmpa nnti jgn tdo 3 hari sbb bnyk sgt citer nak citer..haa..kejam cousin kau yg ni..hehe 

this is "we" and i love "we"

alryte ! back to business..entry for today is switch..switch ?? what switch ?? hmm..not really a big deal because i think its a norm.. quotes says " people change,so do the heart " i think i have to agree with it..obviously everything in this world might change..except for fate that Allah had written for us..ajal,maut,jodoh tu sume is not our job..it His..im talking to sumthing that can always change..for example attitude (rsa mcm buat essay exam siap example bgai) org yg jhat dulu..x semestinya jhat sekarang dan selamanya..and org yg baik dulu,x semestinya baik skrg dan selamanya..right ?? so do not judge the book by its cover..tgok la table of content dia..abstract dia..(demam assignmnt x abis lg ke ni ??) hehe..

and same goes to heart..it might change..from hate to love..from love to hate..this is real i think..kalo dulu.."aku bnci btol la tgok muka bdk tu" tup tup.."aku syg dia la aku rsa" haa kn..jgn bnci sgt..kan dh sayang..aiyyookkk..hehe and not to forget..from love to hate.."i love you..i miss you. i love you too..i miss you more" and now.." i love you..i miss you..."......................." no respond..why ?? because i think i lost it.. i think i lost the love for you..hmm..this might happen..sbb..dulu im the one that really fallen for you..but not you..you play with the word..you play with the heart..and now you lost the love i love the most..

everythings change beside He..

so i'll stick with You my creator :)

deny

assalamualaikum ! (bca mcm upin dan ipin bg salam) hehe..bru lpas paper ETR ngn record..ETR syukur alhamdulillah..(muka yakin) boleh laa..x de la kata hebat kn..tp..paper record susah ! sgt ! paper color pink (ingt sweet ke, tp susah) rasa cm nak bakar je paper record tu..jwb je la mna yg mampu..ya allah, aku x nak repeat..tolong laa..hope the upcoming paper will be fine..pls..be good with me :)

jap ! nak ckp..korg (korg ?? rsa rmai ke yg bca ?? ) kna tgok "jujur aku dayus" bkn sejenis buah2an tmpatan tau..sebuat cerita cerekarama yg aku x smpat nak tgok dan brjuta2 manusia yg kata cita tu was great..beto khusairy was awesome..in love jap..ehh..haha..so wawes a.k.a wawa pun download la cita tu (pkai bb yg laju bleh laa..yg ni wireless uitm yg slalu nak kna tumbuk ngn aku sbb lembap)..thanks to you wawa..sbb cita tu best ! yes i said best ! knapa ?? sbb i am the person who hardly said sumthing is good..and hardly like something..so if i said its good or best in my sight its good enough..x tau la org lain kn..lain org lain la point of view tuu..so silalah..(ke korg dh tgok?? ke aku je yg lmbt?? kalo dh tgok..saya malu !..masuk dlm selimut) hehe

stop dlu cter psal paper2 tu..newspaper ke..A4 paper ke..sesungguhnya x de kna mngena ngn tjuk enrty yg ttibe nak spooky..juga stop cita psal "jujur aku dayus" tu..deny..what are you try to deny ?? and why ?? i try to deny this feeling..the feeling that im tired off..this feeling by right should be gone now..and by right i shouldnt hv any feeling ! in order to recover my heart..i do locked my heart for you..and thats it..no more..let the heart rest..let it be alone..dun ever comeback again..

and..i cant deny what people talks about me..whether good or bad..its theirs..tp..agak sakit hati la kn..bila dh ckp mcm2..and end up "eh,sory..bkn awk yg ckp..kwn2 awk yg mngusik awk, awk diam je kn..sory ea" or " saya tau saya slalu sakitkn hati awk..saya minta maaf" and yet you still do the same thing..who do you think you are ? playing around with heart..before said something..before do something..can you be more considerate ?? well..no ones perfect..but at least..do think about others too...

im done with everything.

Achik & Nana Memori berkasih

                                                lagu zaman purba sgt..influence by asilah :)

ok2 tenang sume..tau la lagu zaman abah2 kita..its all about the lyrics..bkn sbb zaman pnjajahan punya lgu ke ape..kalo KRU buat lgu yg msj cm ni pun aku ltak laa..nak moden sgt kn..hammbikk..basically this song send me some sorts of message which is i think its "oohh..btol jgk"..so definitely..people you love sometimes will not be yours..kdg2 kita akn ckp.."lama kot dorg brmanja brkasih brasmaradana bgai...tp x jd ape pun"..so that is why laa lgu ni wujud..ceehhh..yela tu sara..its also about accepting the facts that people you love might love another person..alasan yg akn digunakn ialah "perasaan,kita x bleh nak jangka"..right..btol..tp ade jgk reason knapa perasaan tu bleh brubah..because you are the one that wanted it to be that way..obviously you want it..oleh itu yg mnyayangi tetapi x disayangi balik sila la melepasknnya pergi krn dia sdang bahagia disana..dan sbb x syg pun sbenanya..kau je syg dia..dia x pun..kau je rindu dia..dia x pun..kau je ingt dia..dia x pun (yeke ? if im not mistaken) huhu..motif buat summary lagu diatas ?? 

x tau..sbb bru trfikir..sbb lately ni bru fikir..setelah ade class jiwa brsama roomate dimalam hari..

final !

hello mr.canvas bru ! eh mr.canvas dh brtukar wajah ni..hensem x ?? hensem kn..huhu..tgok laa tuan dia..(tuan harus lah mnyibuk skali)..hehe..since 4 months ago mr.canvas sama je..so we change a bit yeahh..

alryte..back to tjuk entry..FINAL (meh nak highlight skit). okay everybody itu tndanya..tndanya..nak kna buat knduri arwah sbb x bca lg..this would be my last final tuk diploma (insyaallah) so..nak jd cm mna pun..harus, eh bkn..wajib mndpt pointer yg ok..x kata hebat or excellent..but okay..means..mnyejukkn mata memandang email inbox..nak mndptkn yg "okay" tula mcm nak gila..x tau la nak dptkn hebat tu cm ne..mau kna gila smpai abis final agaknya..msuk hospital bahagia 3,4 kali..(mna ade org amek final smpa gila sara oii..ni namanya over)..

crita dia skrg ni..takot..serves=nervous..malas bca..x nak balik kedah..suma ade..tp ! tu suma lah yg harus makcik tempuhi..makcik x larat dh nak lalui semua ni..bila lah agaknya ni semua nak brakhir (msuk dlm character makcik tua yg uzur lg sakit..brlakon skit)..tp makcik harus melaluinya..krn hidup harus diteruskn..sudah ! ! keje nak brlakon..merepek..(ala bru nak jd makcik tua yg amik diploma)..

biarkn makcik tu..sbb sara jafre ni..x baca buku lg ! bleh pham x ?? x bca buku lg ! and you are like taking your final sara ?? u re dying babe ! yes i am..long sigh...bila nak mndpt hidayah tuk setadi dgn fokus dan jayanya.."ni la dianya kalo kat umah..bknnya nak blaja..ntah ape2 di buatnya" bila pn.pauziah mmberi tazkirah..aku hanya mampu diam trpaku dan mmbisu..and i'll say "i love you mama ! " dan brlari amik buku pura2 bca..hehe..i'll love you mama..no matter what :)

bila nak mntelaah ni..dgn ETRnya..recordnya..issuenya..managementnya..adoiii...someone ! pls bring me to the mood..i need that educated and realization mood...sya nak awk sruh sya study..bleh x..bleh x..bleh x ?? x leh..x leh..x leh ! u need to be independent sara..hmm..yelaaa..all alone :(

ade jgk yg aku jwb paper cm ni kang..geramm punya psal kn..haa hambikk..tembus meja dewan perdana tu..dlm sejarah sgt ok..tuk mngelakkn perkara diatas brlaku..i need to study..i freaking badly need that..kalo x..kita meniru je laa..huhu..gila kau nak meniru..final doe..so kna buat cm ni laa..

buat ape tulis kalo cm tu..harus la aku tdo dgn nyenyaknya kalo cm tu..orite jgk kalo buat cm ni..fuuyoo..style kot..dh mcm alien pemalu je aku tgok..so guys..better dont hv any attempt to do this..hv faith in yourself..u are what u did..huhu..kalo x bca tu..kau goreng jela..jgn hangus dh laa..hehe..

mmg x laa nak high score kalo x bca..so mari bca buku ! might be buku bca aku..so in order to get busy..in order to be more strong..let's setadi, everibadi! 

nyways..gooluck to all that taking finals yeahh..marilah kita mngilmiah kn diri..rsa cm dr.fadzilah kamsah sgt..huhu..

p/s : i love you

miss

hello ! ! im home ! im home ! tell the world that im coming home..weee..at last ! ! dpt update di atas katil bilik..bleh guling2 brsama rasya (nama patung ea..pk ape tu..hehe) nak berenang brirama pun bleh..heaven gilakk ! hooraayy..perjalanan ari ni..agk lembap..sbb jln jem..oleh itu..mnyebabkn aku sakit bdn..aku ni mmg masalah skit..dok dlm bus lama dr waktu yg sepatotnya sakit bdn..tdo tmpat x ok sakit bdn..suma sakit..haihh..x pham ngn bdn sndiri..lmbt jg la smpai klang bndar diraja ni..around 630..abah jangka aku smpai pkul 530..almost an hour abah tunggu..ooppss sory incik jafre..lpas tu mngadu ngn abah..

aku : abah, sakit bdn laaa..dok dlm bus lama2..
abah : lain kali dok kat luar bus..

abah ni..that is incik jafre..my hero..i lebbiiuu lah abah ! ehehe..

iloveyoufamily..mmuuuaahhh smpai lebam..ahaha

entry tjuk miss..nak cter pe ni ?? miss yg mna ni ?? miss yg  cik tu ke miss yg rindu tu ?? (x pyah nak confused sgt la kn, cm la comlicated sgt)

definitely it will be miss yg rindu laa..miss yg cik tu mmg terpampang la im still a miss..just called me miss sara..dgn nada yg over..feeling2 ahli corporate dusta..ehehe..ok..sudah2 la merepek tu..dr dlm perut asek merepek je..ok..yg tu over..huhu

i miss you so much ! ! its been over 5 days..but this is what still happen to me..hmm

yes ! it is..ttibe rindu cm nak meletop dada tu kn..letupkn jela...kot la lpas tu hilang..x pun..hish..rindu laaa...allaaa..susah la cm ni..

sbenanya enrty ari ni nak ckp tu je..

saya rindu awk si hensem ! (dia bca ke??) x kot..so bleh la kau merepek psal kau rindu dia kat sini sara..

rindu ! rindu ! rindu ! rindu ! (skit lg meroyan la ni..)

tetapi hendak lah kamu sedar diri ye sara..ok2..tau..hhmm..

rindu nak say "morning"..rindu nak tnya bnyk kali "awk buat ape tu?"..rindu nak dngr awk gelak,lpas tu saya tnya "buat pe tu??oohh gelak rupanya"..rindu nak tgok awk snyum..rindu nak merepek ngn awk..rindu nak gduh ngn awk..rindu nak check fone ade x msj awk..rindu bngun tdo trus nak call awk..rindu nak tnya awk dh mkn,lpas tu kantoi saya yg x mkn lg..rindu nak wish nitez kat awk..suma awk..nak ckp rindu awk smpai bila pun x abis..tp x de dh suma tu..suma tu x de tuk saya je..tuk awk yg happy kat sana..smile and laugh always ye..do take a good care of yourself..even i know u re better rite now..

I stalk your profile - Jazz Hayat (Animation)

words are pain enough

hye mr.canvas..long time no see..well..im here again..i might be too busy for this couple weeks. Assignmntnya..presentationnya..testnya..itu la ini lah..duniawi sume tu ! (eh, knapa ni ?? over kn) so oleh krn itu bru ari ni rsa nak update..6/3 nnti will be end of our presentation and ! killer presentation..sila persiapkn diri ke tali gantung..lpas tu 14/3 dh start final..relax je kn taip final..x tau tu last final..nak trcabut suma organ yg ade..last paper will be on 29/3..lpas tu insyaallah..tamat diploma :) doa la bebnyk supaya result ok..

nak mnyeru blek semangat yg hilang ni..yes, i lost it since that day.. this feeling showed up in me again..which is not good..which is im not comfortable with it..and i simply don't like it ! tau x rsa yg..nak baring je..rsa yg mcm x nak buat pape..rsa yg 'just leave me alone'..rsa yg useless..rsa yg merepek ni lah !

rsa ini ditambah dgn sakit hati bila "ni nak cari gduh ke ni ?" kata2 ni yg kluar..jujur..x pnah dngar awk ckp cm ni..this is 1st..and the last..haa..sentap..sentap la tu..yes i am..mungkin jgk sya yg cpat terasa ke ? might be..tp x per laa...abaikn..its actually..hearing harsh words from the one you love is so heartbreaking.

msti rsa annoying kn bila mungkin bnda remeh cm tu make u feel..trasa ke ?? laa...itu pun nak trasa..but dun forget..words are sharper than knife..again..i endure it..harus sdar dimana kedudukan itu..dan siapa diri itu..jd saya berundur diri..(kau undur ke kau ke depan ke..kisah ke ??) tau la x kisah..alryte..whatever it is..since im done trying, if you want me in you life, let me know.

today u re leaving..towards ur happiness..which is good for you..u re back for your loved ones..i can see ur smile..and for me..its a last one..no more after this..i saw u go..thank u for the memories..pain..tears..smile..laugh..anger..love..all of that..u re still and always be my one and only.

you always know im here for you..no matter what..no matter how..no matter when..no matter with who u are..i always be there..but..

don't take someone for granted just because you know everytime you push them away, they'd always come runningback for you...because one day..they won't !

i wish...

hello there ! ! mr.canvas :) seeing you again..mr.canvas pun muka mnyampah..sbb asek aku je yg dtg menambah..haih mr.canvas ! ni blog sya..saya ni majikan awk a.k.a bos awk..so suka sya la nak buat pe ! adoii *emosi brlebihan pula*..hehe..

sbenanya..i just get back from meetings..yes its 135am in the morning..and yet im updating you mr.canvas..bcoz..hmm...ntah laa..all of sudden..me..myself feeling like..the replacement !

why ?? some sort of issue make me feel this way..again..i know..and i should barely realize that who i am..where am i standing..and when am i needed..i know i keep saying these words..i keep repeating the same thing..because..yes ! this is what i always feel ! ! its a fact ! no one could ever change it ! i am damn fucking frustrated with myself ! yes i do ! because YOU is always here in my heart..because YOU is always here in my breath..because YOU are part of my life..its always YOU..

people tends to ask me "knapa kau still syg dia??dia slalu sakitkn kau kot" , "knapa kau still bleh buat dia ketawa bila dia slalu buat kau nngis??" ok now..help me find the answer..i am just don't know how to answer the questions..im blank ! so the question and answer just blew me away with nothing..i am just nothing to pushed all this things away..i am just nothing to stop loving you..i am just an ordinary person with a feeling of loving you from far..

i do realize also..no one wrong in this situation..we could never stop the feeling of towards people..so what can i just do?? nothing much..let you be happy..and me..back off..it shoudnt be me in your life..because in your life..it enough to have her..your world is her..your smile is her..your laugh is her..your tears is her..its only her..i give THIS road for both of u..with my tears and smile..enjoy it :')

i know this is just not right..but i am just the plain person to feel this way..time will heal it..again be strong ! even im tired to be strong..that is the only way to persuade my heart..even it not..why..because...

this is what im doing for all this while..face it till you make it ! !

tulang brkecai..wwooo

shhuuhh..shhuuhhh...jap2 nak halau lipas..almaklumlah..brsawang dh blog ni kan..dh lama x dtg jenguk mr.canvas ni kan..kerananya..saya sgt amatlah trlalu busy..aarrgghhhh ! !

knapa penat ? sbbnya sara mmg la busykn..well..menteri besar kedah..x de lah..sbb sara ade trip pegi kelantan..selama 3 hari..which is damn great ! i love it ! satu-satunya trip class yg trasa mcm mkn angin gila babi smpai kembung..ceh,tipu je..balik dr kelantan (yg ade tragedi trtinggal bus tu..masalah dan pngalaman juga) tros balik keklang tanah air dirindui..oh mama..abah..drama sgt kau sara..huhu..x smpat pun merasmikn katil dan peti ais rumah mama trus heret aku balik kampung..heret tau..tragis sgt hidup..so balik la kampung di johor pula..kat kampung lg indah..brsama cousin2 gila dan bengong (gelak ketawa smpai semput) berbequ..ala..berbbq laa..sja nak bhs baku..kata melayu tulen..hehe..dan we hv a lot of chit chatting a.k.a melepas rindu hoke..ingt senang nak kumpul suma ?? msa ni lah nak brgelak ketawa..guling2..smpai mabuk..seronok !

lpas mnggila dan meroyan di kampung..blek pulak klang semula..krn ari sabtu nnti nak blek melbourke a.k.a merbok..rsa blajar kat over the sea sket...kalo dh smpai umah lpas tu nak balik kedah msti ckp ngn mama cm ni " mama,kakak x nak blek laa..nak duduk ngn mama je"mama pun brkata "kalo x nak blek kawen" =..=

mama ni..x bleh nak brmanja2 tau..nnti aku blek sana..mama jgk rindu..ceh ! huhu..saya sayang mama saya..mmuahh..ooppss..cita skrg ni psal aku busy..pesal trpesong ke mmuuaahh2 plak ni..hadoii..ok back to our topic..nnti kna blek kedah blek..mmg la idup aku ni ats jalan raya dgn dlm bus..rasa kna buat rumah banglo 18 tingkat la dlm bus tu..(gayatnya umah 18 tingkat..sape jgk yg nak duduk tu sara oii) huhu..tu namanya..hiperbola..

skrg aku tgh mmbygkn bila dh smpai merbok..pagi pegi class..pkul 4 abis class balik bilik rehat jap..x pun tdo jap..(kjap ke) lpas tu mlm meeting..blik pkul 2 pagi..kna main nyorok2 ngn hanjing lg nak blek bilik..(pncinta haiwan sgt aku) lpas tu ade event..msa event jgn ckp la busynya cm ne..sbb mmg trsgt busy laa kn..ffuuhh..tgh kesat peluh..bru mngadu nasib kat mr.canvas dh brpeluh..msa event nnti cm ne?? brderai isi daging di bdn..(wow ! muvie saw sagt..sara trpengaruh ngn saw..ayokk) lpas event ade posmoterm..as usual..bluueerrkkk..muntah purple (sbb suka color purple)..motif sgt muntah pun nak color fav..harus lah..kau mampu ?? (sara tgh merepek sensorg..)

lpas abis event..mungkin hidup akn kmbali normal sedikit..jgn ingt azab dh selesai..belum lg..assignmnt yg brlonggok..siap bleh jual 3 sepuluh..3 sepuluh kak..mari beli kak, assignment 3 sepuluh ! ! ! haa..dh mcm pasar malam aku tgok..pdhal jual assignmnt..ade x cm tu?? (trmenung seketika) merepek je sara ni..

haa..assignmnt plak..ngn ETRnya..kambing laa..rumput kambing laa..jamnapari laa(nama kambing ok..bkn nama org)..assignmnt2 lain yg menuntut tuk diselesaikn..abis tu..test pulak..serabot ! nate berok mu test ! fulamakk..marah test pkai bhs kelantan..mampu?? lpas tu exam ! final ! this is the real FINAL ! takot ! ya Allah kuatknlah hambamu ini..nmpk x betapa busynya hidupku ini..mmg la nama pun life as a student..so we cant even complain about anything..because its a norm..student ?? you have to pay that price for your future..hope can always do my best..give my best..even beyond the smile is always a tear..

be strong enough..even you have to face blades in front of you. 

you will never know what is waiting for you.

keep being yourself,only you knew your own color.

hide..but i just can't..

hello mr.canvas..penat..bru balik meeting..tp nak update jgk..sbb cm ntah..damn ! ! x suka lah rsa yg mcm ni..sila sedar diri ye sara..i try my best to hide this feeling from u..yes i did ! ! but it seems doesnt work..haihhh..i thought im that strong..i thought im that fine..i thought im that good enough in masking..aarrgghhh..i shouldnt feel this way..i just cant !

i just cant hide anything from u ! !

when i'm sad..u feel it..
when i'm upset..u feel it..
when i'm get jealous..u feel it
when i'm sick..u feel it..
when i'm happy..u feel it..
i wish i can hide everything from you..

saya x nak awk tau..sbb saya mungkin akn hilang
saya x nak awk rasa..sbb saya mungkin akn hilang

but i just cant hide this..

menteri besar kedah !

ooohhhh mr.canvas ! how are you ?? damn ! sgt amat terlalu lama x jmpa mr.canvas..ptot la mr.canvas makin kurus..ahaha..rindu la tu..kita pun rindu awk mr.canvas..rindu sgt..tp kita busy la awk..busy gila smpai nak kencing pun x sempat..ok..kita tipu tau..ehehehe *merepek*

ok hello there ! how re u guys ?? hopefully everythings is just fine..hehe..rsa cm britney spears tgah buat concert..wwoohhoo..fofular hakak..huhu..

sekian lama x mnjenguk disini..batasan kerja..waktu..dan bnyk lg bnda yg menuntut tuk diselesaikn..oleh itu..mr.canvas ditinggalkn sebentar..sebentar je..kn dh dtg balik ni..alryte lets cakap2 about the entry..

entry nak vavavom a.k.a meletop..haha

ok..this entry represent..busy ! hectic day !chaos situation ! all around me..sara busy ngn event2 JPK yg non stop...then trip class to kelantan..and might be heading to terengganu as well..and last but not least is pilihanraya JPK ! aha..this what i'm really waiting for..resign my post as a treasurer ! damn tired to be in this organization anymore..fuuhhh...

ok..itu la briefing sdikit sebanyak tntang schedule (rsa cm CEO syarikat sgt ade schedule) so lpas ni..it will be more tough time to go..doakn yg sara selamat menempuh segala masa2 genting ni..ok mr. canvas ?? mcm lah mr. canvas ni mr.bf sara kn..nak rindu bgai..gila ke ape kau ni sara..

but seriously..saya rindu mama..saya rindu abah..adek ?? skit laa..rindu rumah..rindu katil..rindu mama msak (walaupun kalo blek aku yg msak kdg2)..rindu nak on9 yg x tunggu sesaat pun..sampai kekdg x tau nak tgok pe dh *nmpk x betapa lajunya internet kat umah..rindu awk..ooppsss..ehehehe..homesick kau sara x pnah baik..bdk darjah 1 lg baik laa..

dalam kesibukan dan kepenatan yg dialami, tp x kurus2 pun..sama je..makin maju dan mngembang pesat adlh..adoii..ni mslh ni..nak kna x mkn tuk 365 jam ke ape..huhu..ataupun nak kna jogging selama 3 hari 2 malam tnpa henti *lpas tu brderai tulang2 suma*..eh nak cita sibuk tu la..bkn psal kurus..trpesong smpai CS tu..huhu..haa..dlm sibuk2 tu bleh la mngubat hati yg trluka..melupakan apa yg patut..walaupun sumtimes it's impossible to delete you out of my heart..but its reality..and i faced it with smile :)

i lost it..u left me just with a blink of an eye..in an empty reason..saya rsa sgt bodoh..but its ok..u'll never gonna see me again..u'll never gonna hear me again..well..i did it for you..i know u re happy with her..so go on..dont ever appear in front of me again..no more you. so sibuklah wahai sara..harap2 kau kuat ! hehe..motivator kpd diri sndiri..huhu..


so sampai disinilah saja lembaran tuk kali ini..(cm buat karangan surat x rasmi kat skolah je..eeuuww) lain kali sara merepek..dan brmnja brsama mr.canvas ye..until then..
lot os love
xoxo !


laugh with you..no more
eager to answer ur fone call..no more..
texting you..no more
spill with you..no more
seeing you..no more
walk with you..no more
talking crap with u..no more
US..NO MORE
enough !