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Wednesday, 29 May 2013

nothing

it's ain't easy
it's ain't cool for me
but this is it.

over 4 years
i learn to live
with you

today
i learn to live
half alive

over the time
you'll be the reason
on everything for me

until the day
i realize
i'm not the one

put aside
those hurt
i said "i love you"

i said "i love you"
i mean that, but
hurt, again and again

one day, i wake up
without your love
that i used to feel

empty

that's the moment
when i know
that love is gone

it's me 
who said goodbye

i'm okay
i'm good
i'll be fine

be good 
take care
i do love you.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

i should take a chill pill

salam peeps ! *peeps ? who read your blog?*

alryte, dikala hari ahad ini. mother's day plak, yes ! i'm here at campus, updating my blog *taip smbil kesat airmata* i suppose be at home, with my mom ! bersuka ria. oh ! do not complain about your life. not good for your health everyone. so happy mother's day mama, i do love you more than this world :)

so here we go again. sabar dulu, mesti tgh fikir benda2 yg horror or thrill je kan tgok entry. bertenang ye kengkawan, sesungguhnya entry yg dimaksudkan disini adalah from external influences. chill pill bkn sejenis dadah or ape. it's my own term ! ok, can we straight to the point sara ? kau jgn nak membebel tak tentu hala. baik2, emosi ni kenapa !

come to the real business. semalam aku ada class, which is hari sabtu, diulangi hari SABTU ada class. mnyirap plak taip hari sabtu ada class ni, so tak boleh balik lah ceritanya disini. jgn nak padan mukakan aku eh ! pukul kang. hehe. so we(my friend and i) do plan dari 2 minggu yg lpas nak pegi tgok ironman3. yes ! dh couple of weeks we plan, baik pnya plan kot. my class suppose to end at 4pm. wayang yg ktorg dh usha tu ada pkul 5.20 okay, so dah bajet time cantik laa. ttibe dalam keexcitedannya *teruk sgt bahasa tu* tu my lecturer ckp "kita abis class pkul 5 ea hari ni". bagai halilintar membelah bumi. daaaannnnggggg ! ! ! gugurlah jantung juga airmata ke tanah. boleh mengerti tak perasaan daku dikala itu ? dah la patah hati ada class hari sabtu, baru nak mengubat luka dengan ironman, dilukai lagi hati dengan class abis lambat. to you my heart, sorry for hurting you that much.

so it effect my mood for the whole day. serious. lepas habis class, muka memang dah seposen habis, pergi makan dengan lahapnya dan balik bilik tidur. malam tengok movie with emotionless. boleh nampak betapa psychonya aku terhadap diriku sendiri ? juga betapa psychonya ironman ? so salah aku ke salah ironman ? kita salahkan ironman laa. siapa suruh buat cerita gempak sangat ! *psycho lagi* akan bertambah psycho bila orang disekeliling kau semua dah tengok dan give a great feedback, kau yg dengar ni rasa bangang sangat bila tgok. rasa mcm ada suara bisik "kau je sara tak tengok lg, lame kot" i hate you voice ! bila tanya

"kau dah tgok ironman3 ?"
'dah, hari tu. best kot, eh, kau tak tgok lg ? sedih tau'
kawan mcm ni kadang2 memang mengundang rasa nak asah pisau dan tikam. lagi sedih bila tnya.

"kau dah tgok ironman kan ? aku nmpk kat twitter"
'aah, tak plan pun nak tgok. bf aku ajak, tgok je laa'. kawan kau tu cakap dgn muka tak berapa nak excited tgok ironman3 yg kau gila sgt tu. aku rasa kawan aku yg ni yg gila. tengok pulak dengan yg tersayang. kau yg x de 'yang tersayang' ni boleh lah berlalu pergi sambil dengan airmata.

basically, aku rasa aku telah menyaiko kan diri aku. so, aku telah menasihatkan diriku sendiri supaya next time, don't go over excited kalau tak dapat inilah jadinya. so buat rilex, buat chill even dalam hati meloncat kegirangan. i bet for everyone, mesti rasa frust bila something that we urge to see or have but we can't make it. bukan je pada wayang yg aku x dapat tengok tu. tapi on everything, same goes on person, makanan, thing that you love. and most important is you feeling.

don't go too far and pull yourself together before you get drown in it.


i'm drown in with the hero. tsk tsk

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

separation


Separation gives back love
Separation gives back a feeling of regret..So I just end up waiting for you like this again
I feel lonely as soon as I wake up in the morning without you
The ring on my finger lost its shine and colour
And my throat swallowing only the agony has lost its voice
Little by little, my everything just freezes as it is
Separation gives back love
Separation gives back a feeling of regret
So I just end up waiting for you like this again
Until you love me again like a fool
I have you in my arms like in the past… Until I go crazy of happiness
Like always, I was deluded that we’ll meet again
Just saying I LOVE YOU can’t bring you back now
Another excuse…I know it is late now but,
nobody in the world could replace you
There is only you for me
You stand in front of my eyes, I can’t close my eyes because a picture of you waver in my head
Sleepless night because of love.. That’s what is the most painful
I give the fullest to you, but you give your fullest to her. your existence in my heart is still love
The petty quarrels, the bearable pain, the cold expression
everything I have to bear from now on is also love to me
Although you left, although you’re not by my side
Your name to me is still a passionate love
but, i decided to give up on us
the level of love that i have to you is gone
do not come back again.