i wish...

hello there ! ! mr.canvas :) seeing you again..mr.canvas pun muka mnyampah..sbb asek aku je yg dtg menambah..haih mr.canvas ! ni blog sya..saya ni majikan awk a.k.a bos awk..so suka sya la nak buat pe ! adoii *emosi brlebihan pula*..hehe..

sbenanya..i just get back from meetings..yes its 135am in the morning..and yet im updating you mr.canvas..bcoz..hmm...ntah laa..all of sudden..me..myself feeling like..the replacement !

why ?? some sort of issue make me feel this way..again..i know..and i should barely realize that who i am..where am i standing..and when am i needed..i know i keep saying these words..i keep repeating the same thing..because..yes ! this is what i always feel ! ! its a fact ! no one could ever change it ! i am damn fucking frustrated with myself ! yes i do ! because YOU is always here in my heart..because YOU is always here in my breath..because YOU are part of my life..its always YOU..

people tends to ask me "knapa kau still syg dia??dia slalu sakitkn kau kot" , "knapa kau still bleh buat dia ketawa bila dia slalu buat kau nngis??" ok now..help me find the answer..i am just don't know how to answer the questions..im blank ! so the question and answer just blew me away with nothing..i am just nothing to pushed all this things away..i am just nothing to stop loving you..i am just an ordinary person with a feeling of loving you from far..

i do realize also..no one wrong in this situation..we could never stop the feeling of towards people..so what can i just do?? nothing much..let you be happy..and me..back off..it shoudnt be me in your life..because in your life..it enough to have her..your world is her..your smile is her..your laugh is her..your tears is her..its only her..i give THIS road for both of u..with my tears and smile..enjoy it :')

i know this is just not right..but i am just the plain person to feel this way..time will heal it..again be strong ! even im tired to be strong..that is the only way to persuade my heart..even it not..why..because...

this is what im doing for all this while..face it till you make it ! !

tulang brkecai..wwooo

shhuuhh..shhuuhhh...jap2 nak halau lipas..almaklumlah..brsawang dh blog ni kan..dh lama x dtg jenguk mr.canvas ni kan..kerananya..saya sgt amatlah trlalu busy..aarrgghhhh ! !

knapa penat ? sbbnya sara mmg la busykn..well..menteri besar kedah..x de lah..sbb sara ade trip pegi kelantan..selama 3 hari..which is damn great ! i love it ! satu-satunya trip class yg trasa mcm mkn angin gila babi smpai kembung..ceh,tipu je..balik dr kelantan (yg ade tragedi trtinggal bus tu..masalah dan pngalaman juga) tros balik keklang tanah air dirindui..oh mama..abah..drama sgt kau sara..huhu..x smpat pun merasmikn katil dan peti ais rumah mama trus heret aku balik kampung..heret tau..tragis sgt hidup..so balik la kampung di johor pula..kat kampung lg indah..brsama cousin2 gila dan bengong (gelak ketawa smpai semput) berbequ..ala..berbbq laa..sja nak bhs baku..kata melayu tulen..hehe..dan we hv a lot of chit chatting a.k.a melepas rindu hoke..ingt senang nak kumpul suma ?? msa ni lah nak brgelak ketawa..guling2..smpai mabuk..seronok !

lpas mnggila dan meroyan di kampung..blek pulak klang semula..krn ari sabtu nnti nak blek melbourke a.k.a merbok..rsa blajar kat over the sea sket...kalo dh smpai umah lpas tu nak balik kedah msti ckp ngn mama cm ni " mama,kakak x nak blek laa..nak duduk ngn mama je"mama pun brkata "kalo x nak blek kawen" =..=

mama ni..x bleh nak brmanja2 tau..nnti aku blek sana..mama jgk rindu..ceh ! huhu..saya sayang mama saya..mmuahh..ooppss..cita skrg ni psal aku busy..pesal trpesong ke mmuuaahh2 plak ni..hadoii..ok back to our topic..nnti kna blek kedah blek..mmg la idup aku ni ats jalan raya dgn dlm bus..rasa kna buat rumah banglo 18 tingkat la dlm bus tu..(gayatnya umah 18 tingkat..sape jgk yg nak duduk tu sara oii) huhu..tu namanya..hiperbola..

skrg aku tgh mmbygkn bila dh smpai merbok..pagi pegi class..pkul 4 abis class balik bilik rehat jap..x pun tdo jap..(kjap ke) lpas tu mlm meeting..blik pkul 2 pagi..kna main nyorok2 ngn hanjing lg nak blek bilik..(pncinta haiwan sgt aku) lpas tu ade event..msa event jgn ckp la busynya cm ne..sbb mmg trsgt busy laa kn..ffuuhh..tgh kesat peluh..bru mngadu nasib kat mr.canvas dh brpeluh..msa event nnti cm ne?? brderai isi daging di bdn..(wow ! muvie saw sagt..sara trpengaruh ngn saw..ayokk) lpas event ade posmoterm..as usual..bluueerrkkk..muntah purple (sbb suka color purple)..motif sgt muntah pun nak color fav..harus lah..kau mampu ?? (sara tgh merepek sensorg..)

lpas abis event..mungkin hidup akn kmbali normal sedikit..jgn ingt azab dh selesai..belum lg..assignmnt yg brlonggok..siap bleh jual 3 sepuluh..3 sepuluh kak..mari beli kak, assignment 3 sepuluh ! ! ! haa..dh mcm pasar malam aku tgok..pdhal jual assignmnt..ade x cm tu?? (trmenung seketika) merepek je sara ni..

haa..assignmnt plak..ngn ETRnya..kambing laa..rumput kambing laa..jamnapari laa(nama kambing ok..bkn nama org)..assignmnt2 lain yg menuntut tuk diselesaikn..abis tu..test pulak..serabot ! nate berok mu test ! fulamakk..marah test pkai bhs kelantan..mampu?? lpas tu exam ! final ! this is the real FINAL ! takot ! ya Allah kuatknlah hambamu ini..nmpk x betapa busynya hidupku ini..mmg la nama pun life as a student..so we cant even complain about anything..because its a norm..student ?? you have to pay that price for your future..hope can always do my best..give my best..even beyond the smile is always a tear..

be strong enough..even you have to face blades in front of you. 

you will never know what is waiting for you.

keep being yourself,only you knew your own color.

hide..but i just can't..

hello mr.canvas..penat..bru balik meeting..tp nak update jgk..sbb cm ntah..damn ! ! x suka lah rsa yg mcm ni..sila sedar diri ye sara..i try my best to hide this feeling from u..yes i did ! ! but it seems doesnt work..haihhh..i thought im that strong..i thought im that fine..i thought im that good enough in masking..aarrgghhh..i shouldnt feel this way..i just cant !

i just cant hide anything from u ! !

when i'm sad..u feel it..
when i'm upset..u feel it..
when i'm get jealous..u feel it
when i'm sick..u feel it..
when i'm happy..u feel it..
i wish i can hide everything from you..

saya x nak awk tau..sbb saya mungkin akn hilang
saya x nak awk rasa..sbb saya mungkin akn hilang

but i just cant hide this..

menteri besar kedah !

ooohhhh mr.canvas ! how are you ?? damn ! sgt amat terlalu lama x jmpa mr.canvas..ptot la mr.canvas makin kurus..ahaha..rindu la tu..kita pun rindu awk mr.canvas..rindu sgt..tp kita busy la awk..busy gila smpai nak kencing pun x sempat..ok..kita tipu tau..ehehehe *merepek*

ok hello there ! how re u guys ?? hopefully everythings is just fine..hehe..rsa cm britney spears tgah buat concert..wwoohhoo..fofular hakak..huhu..

sekian lama x mnjenguk disini..batasan kerja..waktu..dan bnyk lg bnda yg menuntut tuk diselesaikn..oleh itu..mr.canvas ditinggalkn sebentar..sebentar je..kn dh dtg balik ni..alryte lets cakap2 about the entry..

entry nak vavavom a.k.a meletop..haha

ok..this entry represent..busy ! hectic day !chaos situation ! all around me..sara busy ngn event2 JPK yg non stop...then trip class to kelantan..and might be heading to terengganu as well..and last but not least is pilihanraya JPK ! aha..this what i'm really waiting for..resign my post as a treasurer ! damn tired to be in this organization anymore..fuuhhh...

ok..itu la briefing sdikit sebanyak tntang schedule (rsa cm CEO syarikat sgt ade schedule) so lpas ni..it will be more tough time to go..doakn yg sara selamat menempuh segala masa2 genting ni..ok mr. canvas ?? mcm lah mr. canvas ni mr.bf sara kn..nak rindu bgai..gila ke ape kau ni sara..

but seriously..saya rindu mama..saya rindu abah..adek ?? skit laa..rindu rumah..rindu katil..rindu mama msak (walaupun kalo blek aku yg msak kdg2)..rindu nak on9 yg x tunggu sesaat pun..sampai kekdg x tau nak tgok pe dh *nmpk x betapa lajunya internet kat umah..rindu awk..ooppsss..ehehehe..homesick kau sara x pnah baik..bdk darjah 1 lg baik laa..

dalam kesibukan dan kepenatan yg dialami, tp x kurus2 pun..sama je..makin maju dan mngembang pesat adlh..adoii..ni mslh ni..nak kna x mkn tuk 365 jam ke ape..huhu..ataupun nak kna jogging selama 3 hari 2 malam tnpa henti *lpas tu brderai tulang2 suma*..eh nak cita sibuk tu la..bkn psal kurus..trpesong smpai CS tu..huhu..haa..dlm sibuk2 tu bleh la mngubat hati yg trluka..melupakan apa yg patut..walaupun sumtimes it's impossible to delete you out of my heart..but its reality..and i faced it with smile :)

i lost it..u left me just with a blink of an eye..in an empty reason..saya rsa sgt bodoh..but its ok..u'll never gonna see me again..u'll never gonna hear me again..well..i did it for you..i know u re happy with her..so go on..dont ever appear in front of me again..no more you. so sibuklah wahai sara..harap2 kau kuat ! hehe..motivator kpd diri sndiri..huhu..


so sampai disinilah saja lembaran tuk kali ini..(cm buat karangan surat x rasmi kat skolah je..eeuuww) lain kali sara merepek..dan brmnja brsama mr.canvas ye..until then..
lot os love
xoxo !


laugh with you..no more
eager to answer ur fone call..no more..
texting you..no more
spill with you..no more
seeing you..no more
walk with you..no more
talking crap with u..no more
US..NO MORE
enough !